Where do quarrels occur in this world? Only where there is infatuation and attraction. For how long the quarrels exist? As long as sexual interaction exists, quarrels exist. Then you start doing ‘mine-yours’, ‘Pick up your bag from here. Why have your kept saris in my bag?” etc. These quarrels exist as long as you are united in sex. And once you have become free from sex, there is no problem even if the things are kept in your bag. These quarrels would not take place then, would they?
Questioner: But seeing all this sends shivers down my body. It is also amazing that, despite daily quarrels, husband or wife does not feel like coming up with a solution, is it not?
Dadashri: This has been going on for so many years, since getting married. They quarrel on one hand and continue to have sex with each other on the other hand. That is why I have said that both should take the vow of brahmacharya, and then your life would be of the highest quality. All the fights are for selfish reasons. She knows that he is not going to go anywhere away from her. He too knows that she is not going to go away from him. Thus everything remains, the fights and the sex, unchanged.
Misery of dependency on sex is greater than the transient happiness derived from it. When one realizes this, he will be free from the false infatuation and vice grip of sex. It is then only that he would impress females. Otherwise they feel that they can play with him through the medium of sexuality. The impression of this nature gradually leads to an aura of awe and respect. Thereafter they leave him alone. Otherwise, even the greatest of spiritual men in this world have suffered at the hands of women and their sexual ploy. Only the vitarags, liberated ones have understood this, as is. It is because of their aura of purity that women stayed away from them. Otherwise women carry so much power that they can make any man helplessly subordinate to them in no time. This is the nature, sexual character of women. You must stay away from women. You must not try and deceive them otherwise you yourself will come under their deception. And this web of misery has been happening for many lives..
When a woman pushes her husband around and scolds him repeatedly, what is the reason behind it? It is because the man is deeply entrenched in sexual gratification. Woman does not push him around just because she feeds him food; she does so because of sex. No woman would push a man around if he were not interested in sex. She takes advantage of this weakness but if there were no weakness, she would not be able to do bother him in any manner. Women are very deceitful and men are naive. So the men have to keep sexual desire under control for two to four months. She will then get tired and she would not be able to control the man.
When will a woman respect you and be deferential to you? If you were very sensitive about sex, easily aroused by sexuality, then she would control you. If you are sexual but not sensitive, not easily aroused, then she will develop respect for you. If she invites you for sex and you say not now, after two to three days, then she stays under your command. Otherwise you will be under her control. I understood this at the age of fifteen. Some people beg for sex. You fool, do you have to beg for sex? What would then happen to you if you do? What will the woman do? She will abuse you. She will boss you around, ‘Hold this child, and go take care of him’. Our mahatmas have sex but they do not have the craving for it.
One woman makes her husband prostrate to her four times, before she will allow him to touch her once. You fool, why don’t you go jump in the ocean instead, what is wrong in doing that? Take samadhi, final peace, in the sea, at least the sea is straightforward; at least there is no hassle there. What kind of nonsense is this of prostrating for sex?
Questioner: Before, I used to think that all these clashes and arguments in the home were due to matters and work of the household. And when I try to help out, they still continue.
Dadashri: Those disputes and clashes will continue. As long as there is sexual interaction, clashes will continue. This is the root of all clashes. The person who has conquered sex, has such an aura of commanding respect about him that no one will bother him, no one can conquer him.
When sexual interaction with Hiraba stopped, I started calling her ‘Hiraba’(ba means mother). After that we haven’t had any difficulties. And whatever difficulties and clashes we had before, were due to sex. But as long as there is the after effect of the bite of sex the clash tend to remain. Even after cessation of overt sexual interaction, the after effects of the prior sexual interaction remain for some time and then end. So do the clash. I am telling you this from personal experience.
Look at the wonder of this science! All the clashes, not only with the wife, but with the whole world stop. This science is such, and you are free when all clashes end.
When an intense dislike for sex arises, only then would sex stops. Otherwise, how else can it be stopped?