Having sex with a partner who is not married to you is this life’s cause to go to hell. If you want to go to hell then think of doing this. I have no problem with that. If it were convenient to you, I would describe the miseries of hell. You will have a fever just listening to it, then imagine what would happen if you had to actually suffer those pains? There is no problem of sex with your own wife.
Nature has accepted relation between a husband and a wife. There is no problem if this relationship does not give rise to desires for illicit sexual desires. Nature has made that much allowance. Rightful sex would not result in demerit deeds whereas there are innumerable demerit karmas in illicit sex. Just in one sexual act even with the wife, millions of life forms die. Are these few demerit karmas? But it is still not as big demerit karma as having sex with woman other than one’s own wife. There is no sin higher than the sin of illicit sex
Questioner: Who are the most likely to go to hell?
Dadashri: Rapists go to the seventh hell. Whatever pleasure they had experienced, when they experience infinitely higher misery and pain, they will decide that they do not want to go to hell anymore. Therefore, in this world if there is anything that you most definitely should not do, it is to rape someone. Never allow your intentions to be tainted sexually. One who rapes anyone goes to hell and has nothing but constant suffering there. In this world there is nothing higher than a woman’s chastity.
In this satsang if you have such a treacherous sexual thought than I would say that any further satsang is meaningless. Here, this type of behavior would not be tolerated at all and if this ever came into my attention, I will throw you out.
Whatever mistakes one has made in this world so far, whatever serious mistakes they may be, if one brings them to me, and if he were never going to make them again in this life, then I would cleanse him in every way.
Do you feel any repentance when listening to this?
Questioner: Yes, I do feel a lot.
Dadashri: If you burn your sins in repentance even then your bad deeds would end. After listening to all this, if you were to ask me, “What would happen to me?” I would reassure you that I would help you. There are conditions. You have to wisen up from today. From the moment you become aware of illicit sexual impulses, know this mistake and do pratikramans with sincerity. I would get rid of your ticket to hell because I have the ways to do so. This is the power of the Gnani Purush. I will show you what to do next. Then it would all disappear and I would do many other vidhis, special blessings, for you.
Would people not point finger at you if you were having an affair with another woman? So, this is going against the standards of the world and secondly, you experience so many worries and tension internally. The sufferings in hell are like burning in the electric gas for a long time. There is one hell where the suffering is from the electric heat and in the other hell the suffering is from extreme cold. It is so cold there that if we throw the Pavagadh Mountain in it, it would not remain as a solid rock. It will disintegrate into minute little particles.
There are a lot of dangers involved in having sex with a woman other than your wife. You would have to follow her wherever she goes in her next life. She may come as your mother in the next life. I have seen in my Gnan that there are so many sons, these days, born to their mistresses of their previous life. The son would be of an upper caste and the mother would be of a lower caste. The mother would go to the lower caste and the son would have to go from an upper caste to a lower caste again. Look at these terrible dangers. The woman of past life would become your mother in this birth, and the mother of this birth would become your wife in your next birth. Such are the horrible dangers of this sexual world. In short, make sure you understand this. Prakruti, this complex of thoughts, speech and acts, is not sexual. You are sexual. I have said this before in a different way. But I have said all along that only this is the one serious danger.
Questioner: Is there any danger if both the person love illicit sex?
Dadashri: There is a danger even if both parties consent to it. What is the benefit if both parties agree? You will have to go wherever she goes. You want attain moksha but her actions are of this kind, then what would happen to you? It would never work. That is why all the scriptures say that; the right discriminative approach is for the people to get married. Whose home will be safe from stray cattle? Then how would there ever be a safe side? Why aren’t you saying anything? Are you worried about your past?
Dadashri: I will cleanse it all for you. All I want is from is that after meeting me there must not be any more errors. I have lots of solutions to free you from any of your past errors. You can tell me in private. I will cleanse it all for you. Human beings are prone to mistakes, especially in this Kaliyug. It is impossible not to make a mistake in this Kaliyug.
There is no problem in divorcing one person and marrying another, but you have to marry. There must be a boundary. One without any boundary is like an ownerless bull. Then there is no difference between him and the bull.
Questioner: What if one has a mistress?
Dadashri: If you want to keep a mistress, she should be officially registered. Then there should not be another one.
Questioner: You cannot register, because then she would ask for her share of my wealth and that creates endless other problems.
Dadashri: You have to give her, her share of your wealth, if you want a taste of her sex. Why don’t you wisen up for this one life? Why are you doing all this? You have done this for endless lives. Why not behave for this one life? There is no other choice if you want true bliss. Does a snake straighten up or remain crooked when entering its burrow?
Questioner: It straightens first. I understood only today that it is wrong to have a woman other than my wife. Until now, I did not see anything wrong in this.
Dadashri: Nobody, in any of your past lives, has made you experience that this is wrong, otherwise who would fall into this hell? This brings on hell.
After acquiring this Akram Vignan of ours, if you repent heartily then all such serious errors of your past would be destroyed. With true repentence even those who have not received this Gnan, will be freed, but not completely. For you, who have received this Gnan, if you continuously repent heavily, over all elements of sexuality, then you will be free from all your errors and their future consequences.
Questioner: Recently, you spoke about man becoming a source of encouragement for a woman perpetuating her deciet, in matters of sex. The advances of the man deceive the woman. In our worldly dealings, if I am at all responsible for worsening her original deceit that is part of her nature as a woman, please do a vidhi (special blessing) for me so that I may be freed from this responsibility.
Dadashri: Yes, I will do the vidhi for you. Man is responsible for increase in the increase in deceit of the woman. Many men are unaware of their responsibility in this. Even while he is following my Agnas in every way, what does he tell the woman when trying to enjoy her sexually? He would tell her that there is nothing wrong in what they are doing. So the poor woman gives in and succumbs. She does not want to have sex and wasn’t going to do so. Yet her prakruti, her nature as a woman is such that it is difficult for her to rise above sex, so it becomes excited at that time. But who is responsible for this result? The man is.
All these women have slipped into womanhood; become women, because of this. If someone says something sweet to her, she surrenders to him. This is very subtle. This is difficult to comprehend.
It is only because of sex that one has become a woman. Man has perpetuated the state of the woman in order to enjoy sex. He encourages her, showers compliments on her and thus corrupts her. Even when she may not have any beauty or charm, she believes she has. What makes her believe so? She has been brainwashed by men, into believing, ‘What is wrong in it?’ She has not believed that on her own. Man has always told her, ‘you are very beautiful, there is no other woman like you’; she believes it. Man has kept a woman as a women life after life by this falsehood for his own pleasure. And the woman believes that she is making a fool of the man. A man enjoys her and moves on. You do not seem to understand much, do you? May be a little?
Questioner: I can understand it completely. So far I had the understanding that, men were free from any faults in the matters of sex. But from today’s talk, I realize that men become very responsible in this way.
Dadashri: Man only is responsible. To keep a woman as a woman is man’s doing.
Whatever happens, if the husband is not there, if the husband has died even then she does not give in to another man. No matter what the other man is, even if God himself comes down as a man, she will still say no, “ I have a husband, he is my Lord”. This is called a sati. Can any one be considered a sati these days? It is not always like this, is it? Times are different now days aren’t they? In Satyug times there were some satis.
This is for one who wishes to be a sati. This way they can one day become a sati. Today, do you know that sex is being sold at the price of bangles? Do you not understand what I am saying?
Questioner: Yes, it is being sold at the price of bangles.
Dadashri: At which market? In colleges? At what price is it being sold? Sex is sold at the price of gold. Some is sold at the price of diamonds. Not everywhere. Some do not even accept gold. No matter what you offer them, they will not accept it. But other women sell sex these days, if not at the price of gold then at some other price.
A sati is a chaste woman. Sati is a woman who has one husband. Through mind, body and speech she has no use for any other man. One may not be a sati to begin with, but she too can become a sati from the moment she makes a firm decision to be so, even if she has been corrupted in sex before.
Questioner: Will the deceit begin to dissolve as that chastity and the resolve for it is preserved?
Dadashri: Once the chastity through thoughts, speech and acts begins, the deceit begins to leave. You do not have to do anything. Those traditional satis were so from birth. They did not have a blemish as far as sex was concerned. And, for you the blemishes of sexual misconduct of this life remain and therefore you have to attain liberation by becoming a man again in the next life. Everything ends right here when one becomes a sati, brahmacharya in action. All the women who become satis attained liberation directly. Can you understand this a little? You will have to become a sati, pure, to attain moksha.
Questioner: Yes. Therefore it is not a fact that a woman would remain as a woman for a long time in multiple lives. But because the women do not know this knowledge and solution, they are lost.
Dadashri: If the solution happens then a woman is a man really. These poor women do not understand this tuber of sexuality and deceit within them which part of their nature. And in matters of sexuality they have a lot of interest. They derive pleasure from it. And they remain stuck in sexuality. No one knows the subtle way out and no one shows the way out. Only the satis know it. Apart from her husband, she never thinks of anyone else. If her husband dies suddenly or goes away, even then she would not. To her, he is the only husband. All the deceit of these satis dissolves.
People suspect their daughters who are just going out to school. They even suspect their own wives. These types of treacheries exist. Isn’t there treachery even in the homes today? In this kaliyug there is treachery in one’s own home. Kaliyug means the time of treachery. There is nothing but deceit and treachery. For what happiness do they do all this? Even that is done in gross unawareness.
Questioner: What adjustments does one have to make where tubers of suspicion have already been formed in one’s mind?
Dadashri: The faults of sexual misconduct that you see in a person, do you think that they are new and did not exist before? Have they arisen out of the blue? That is why it is worth understanding that this is how it all is in this world. In this day and age do not judge anyone by his or her sexual conduct. This is how it is everywhere. It may not be openly evident but their minds are filled with sexual misconduct and wrong sexual impulses. And in all this world of sexuality, the woman is the storehouse of sexual deceit and illusion. That is why the life after life as a woman is perpetuated and there is no escape from it. Of all this therefore, the fortunate ones are the ones who become free from all elements of sexuality and attain brahmacharya.
Questioner: We know that this is going on all around, yet when the mind suspects someone, we get engrossed in it. What adjustments do we take there?
Dadashri: Having realized the Self, do not get involved in anything else. Remain as the Self. Everything else is of the foreign department; the non-Self and You should remain in the home department, the Self. Why don’t you remain as the Self? This type of Gnan cannot be attained over and over again, therefore get your work done. One gentleman kept getting suspicious about his wife. I asked him what caused him to be suspicious? Was he suspicious because he saw something? Was it not occurring before he saw it? The ones who get caught, people call them thieves. But those that do not get caught, are all thieves from within.
What is there to be scared of when you are the pure Soul? This is all discharge of what had been charged in your past life. The whole world is clearly a discharge. There is nothing other than discharge in this world. That is why I say that there is no one at fault because it is all a discharge.
Questioner: So, does the law of karma works there too?
Dadashri: Yes, it is the law of karma that is working, nothing else. It is not the fault of the man; it is the karma that makes him spin. But suspicion will kill him for no reason.
Therefore, whoever wants peace regarding the sexual conduct of his wife, he should marry an ugly woman so that no one would have sexual impulses for her. No one will be willing to keep her. And she herself would say, ‘No one would keep me. It is just this husband that I have found who would keep me’. That is why she would remain very sincere to you. Otherwise, if she were beautiful, people would enjoy her with sexual looks. If she is pretty, people will look at her with sexual intentions. When I see a man who marries a beautiful woman, I think what would happen to the poor man!
A man would forget God if his wife is very beautiful, would he not? And if the husband were very handsome, the wife would forget God. That is why everything in moderation is good.
These people are such that wherever they see a ‘hotel’ (place of sexual gratification), they would ‘eat’ (enjoy). So it is not worth being suspicious, in this world. Suspicions cause pain and heartaches. Both, women and men, ‘eat’ whenever they see a ‘hotel’.
Men and women teach each other a lesson in sexuality, but women win at the end because men do not have deceit in them. That is why women deceive men.
When sincerity and morality was present, the worldly life was worth living. Today there is tremendous amount of deceit. No man would go back to his wife if I revealed everything about his wife. I know everything about everyone but I never say or do anything about it. Man is often disloyal, but a woman is the factory of deceit. The museum of deceits exists not anywhere else, except in a woman.
These men start suspecting their wives if they come home a little late. Suspicions are not worth having. Nothing is going to happen outside of the karmic accounts. Try and make her understand when she comes home but do not be suspicious of her. Suspicions breed suspicion and invite disaster. Yes, you should warn her, but not suspect her. A suspicious person misses the opportunity to be free.
Therefore, if you want to be free and attain liberation you should not be suspicious. If you see your wife in another man’s arms, does that mean you have to kill yourself?
Questioner: No, why should I do that?
Dadashri: Then what will you do?
Questioner: First display some dramatic anger and then I would try and make her understand. After that, whatever happens is ‘vyavasthit’.
Dadashri: Yes, that is correct.