This science of brahmacharya will liberate anyone, and is applicable to even married people. The following of the agna of the Gnani Purush is required. Somebody with a false pride may say, ‘I want to marry another one’. To this I would say that have to be capable of it. People in the past had multiple wives. Emperor Bharat had thirteen hundred queens and he still attained total liberation. Would he have attained moksha if queens represented any obstruction? Then what is the obstruction to liberation? It is ignorance of the Self.
Sex is not poison, but fearlessness in sex is poison. Therefore, do not be concerned. All the scriptures have said it aloud that sex is poison. How is it poison? Can sex ever be poisonous? It is fearlessness in sex that is poison. If sex was poison then, and for all you householders and married people, I would have had to come and push you out to the Jain monasteries where you would be forced to avoid sexuality of all kinds. But do I need to drive anyone?
The Lord has separated all living beings into two divisions; those who are in this worldly life and those who are liberated. Those who are liberated are called the siddha and the rest are sansari, involved in mundane worldly life. Therefore, if you are an ascetic, a renunciator, , you are still a sansari just as much as the married householder. So, do not worry. Worldly married life is not an obstruction to liberation, sexual interaction is not an obstruction to liberation. It is ignorance of the Self that is the obstruction. That is why I have written; that sex is not poison, fearlessness in sex is poison.
If sex was indeed poison, then Lord Mahavir would never have become fully enlightened tirthankara.. He too had a daughter. Therefore, fearlessness in sex is poison. If you feel, ‘ Nothing will hurt me in sex’, then that is poison.
I have given the word fear so that one would have fear in sex. Involvement is sexuality should be the last resort. So, what I am saying is have fear in sex and sexuality. Even the Lord himself was fearful in sex as were all the mighty Gnanis. Who then are you not to be fearful of sex? Just like, if there is a lot of delicious food, you can enjoy it but have fear and moderation in enjoying it because you will suffer if you eat too much. Therefore, have some fear and moderation.
Questioner: After becoming the pure Soul, shuddhatma in Akram Vignan, should I have sexual interactions with my wife and if so, with what intents? Here, how can I deal with equanimity here?
Dadashri: If you have a wife, then you both have to reach an acceptable solution for both in sexual matters. Your sexual dealings should be such that it is acceptable by both of you. Stop any interaction, which is acceptable to one and not to other. You should not hurt your wife in any manner.
I am telling you that this medicine of sex is a sweet medicine. Just as you take any medicine in the right dose, take this medicine of sex in right dose. When does married life excel? It does so when you take the medicine only when both of you have a fever. Does any one take medicine without a fever? If one takes medicine without a fever, the married life would not attain harmony. Therefore it should be taken only if both have a sexual fever. You do not take medicine everyday just because it is sweet.
All these highly evolved souls, such as Rama-Sita, had control over their passions. They has sexual control. Is abrahmacharya a divine quality? No, that is a bestial quality. Humans lose their human-ness with abrahmacharya. The world does not understand what sex is. Millions of lives die in only one act of sex through the loss of millions of living sperms. This is tremendous violence. Not realizing this, people believe sexual act to be the highest pleasure. They do not understand that a life is precious and must not be lost except as a last resort. But what happens when there is no understanding?
You have acquired my thermometer now. This is the instrument by which you are to proceed. Fever for both. Otherwise not. That is why I say that I have liberated you even with a wife. No one has made this simple for you. A very simple and straightforward path has been given to you. It is up to you to make the fullest good use of it. It is extremely simple. This has never happened before. This is the pure path, acceptable to the Lord.
Questioner: If the wife has no desire, fever, what should she do if she has to take the ‘medicine’ given to her by force by her husband?
Dadashri: What can she do? Who asked her to get married?
Questioner: The fault is of the sufferer, accepted. Please Dada, please show me a way, and show me some way out of sex, by things like pratikraman, or something like that.
Dadashri: Only through making him understand that Dada has said this is not something that you can keep taking. Why don’t we take this medicine six to eight times a month? The method is this: We are to remain still in our understanding, then our body and mind will follow and then the problem with the file will be settled with equanimity.
Therefore, in Akram Vignan, sexual relation with your wife is considered brahmacharya. But this has to be with discriminative understanding and your all inclinations and impulses of a sexual nature towards anyone else except uour wife must not exist. If such errors happen they must cleansed instantly with frequent pratikramans. This for this era I define as brahmacharya. Why? It is because he remains within his bounds of his rightful sexuality. Such a married brahmachari will eventually understand that even such sex with his wife is a grave mistake and he will let go of his right of sex with his wife.