Questioner: I do not wish to get married at all, but my parents, friends and relatives are pressuring me to do so. So, should I get married or not?
Dadashri: If you definitely do not wish to get married then, because of this Gnan that you have taken, you will fulfill your goal of human life. Everything is possible with the power of this Gnan. I will explain how to conduct yourself and with that understanding if you remain afloat then you will reach the shore of salvation.
There is nothing greater than the mere thought of taking the vow of brahmacharya and the firm decision of remaining in it. Such a person has grasped the essence of all the scriptures. The person, who makes a firm decision of being free from all these entanglements of the world, has understood all the scriptures. The illusion of sex is such that it will sink all, even the one who thinks that he has no attachment to anything in the world. This illusion of sex has sunk great saints and masters from tremendous spiritual heights.
Questioner: The resolution to follow brahmacharya has been made. What can be done to strengthen this resolve?
Dadashri: Keep repeating this resolve and your energy will increase by saying, ‘O ‘Dada Bhagwan’, I am making my resolution stronger and firmer. Please grant me the energy to strenghthen my resolve of brahmacharya’. Such words will increase the energy.
Questioner: Do I have to continue observing thoughts of sex as they come?
Dadashri: Keep on observing them. What else can you do? Can you accumulate them?
Questioner: Should I not throw them off?
Dadashri: You have to keep on observing. After continuous observation you have to tell Chandresh (file no. one for those who have taken Gnan) to do their pratikraman. You have to do pratikraman for any sexual thoughts, desires and gestures that happen in the mind, the speech and the body. Imagine how much bliss you will experience if you become free from the thoughts of sex that arise? And just imagine how much bliss will be there when they are all gone forever.
There are four pillars of liberation. These are real knowledge, real vision, real conduct and right penance (gnan, darshan, charitra and tapa). Now, when does one have to do penance? When thoughts about sex arise and you maintain a firm decision of not giving in to them, the Lord has called this penance. When there is no desire for sex at all, and when thoughts that lead to desire arise, that is where penance begins.
The thoughts of sex and abrahmacharya will come, and in this when one keeps praying for the energy of brahmacharya, it is highly commendable. With these prayers the seeker will attain the goal over a variable period of two to five years. The person, who conquers abrahmacharya, conquers the whole world. The governing deities, the celestial protectors of the path of liberation are very pleased with the one who is in brahmacharya.
Sex is the only thing that calls for vigilance. It is more than enough if sexual impulses are conquered. The impulses must be uprooted as soon as they arise, before they become thoughts of sex. Secondly, once there has been eye contact with anyone who arouses impulses of sexuality, you should immediately change the inner visual link. Otherwise the sexual seeding will grow and even when it is tiny it will sow seeds for more sex. Therefore it is best to eradicate it when it is a mere sapling.
Stay as far away from the company of those who are likely to trap you in sexuality, because if you get trapped even once, you will keep on getting into trap after trap. Therefore run! You must run as far away from that person as possible. You would not slip if you leave the place where there are chances of slipping. In satsang, there is no chance of meeting any other ‘files’ (people who tempt you sexually). People with the same goal of spiritual progress come together here, do they not?
Eradicate the sexual thought immediately. Do pratikraman for any attraction of a sexual nature. With these two weapons, brahmacharya will remain forever.
It is in the nature of the sexual seed to fall and reseed into a plant. The eyes see all kinds of things and hence seeds are sown within. These internal seeds have to be uprooted. As long as they are in the form of seeds, one has a chance for a cure. Once they sprout and start growing it becomes more and more difficult, and then there is no cure.
The women are not pulling and attracting you. It is your past life account that is pulling and attracting you. Therefore uproot and throw it (sexual impulses) away and clear the account. After Gnan, there is no problem of any kind except sex. Therefore I caution you against sex. Just commencing a sexual link through looking is the fault and especially after understanding this, if it happens then severe liability is incurred. Therefore do not begin this sexual link with anyone.
Are you overcome by sleep that veils your awareness of the Self? The world will latch on to you if you dose off in such sleep. Now, from here on if you dose off, get attracted and tempted sexually with a specific person then you have to ask for energy of brahmacharya from the pure Soul of that person, by saying, ‘O pure Soul! Give me the strength to maintain my brahmacharya with the entire world’. It is good if you ask for strength from ‘Dada’ but it is best to ask directly from the pure Soul of the person who is pulling you.
Questioner: What should we do if the eyes meet sexually?
Dadashri: Become clean and pure with the help of pratikraman. You must do pratikraman as soon as sexuality arises through the four eyes that have met. That is why it has been said not to place a photograph or a statue of a beautiful woman.
Questioner: It is believed that sex is the sweetest of all tastes. On what grounds is this based?
Dadashri: The reason why one feels the sweetness in sex is because one has not experienced sweetness anywhere else. If we really look at it as it is, there is most filth in sexuality than anywhere else. But this momentary sweetness and pleasure renders one unconscious even while awake.
Questioner: I do not like it at all and yet the attraction remains. I continue to experience remorse afterwards about it.
Dadashri: If there is remorse, then it will go away. How can sexuality remain if you see only the Soul of the person? Sex happens when you see anything else except the Self. Do you know how to analyze sexuality?
Questioner: You tell me, Dada.
Dadashri: Analysing the sexual event means, do the eyes like it? Do the ears like it when they hear it? And does it taste sweet if the tongue licks it? None of the senses like it. The ears must really like it right? Therefore when you analyse this way you will realize that hell exists there. But without this analysis people are confused. Isn’t it a wonder that the world is so enamored with sex?
‘By conquering sex, you have conquered the worldly life,
Just as by conquering the King you have conquered the army, kingdom and power.’
You will get everything, the army, the city and the power when you conquer the King.
Questioner: After acquiring Gnan from you, can we completely get rid of the seeds of sex right away in this life?
Dadashri: Everything can be done. No new seeds are sowed for the next life. Wash away the old seeds that already exist, and new seeds will not be sown.
Questioner: Does that mean that we will not have any thoughts of sex, in the next life?
Dadashri: No, you will not. If a few were left from the past then those thoughts will come but they would be of no consequence. There is no danger where there are no pending accounts.
Questioner: Whom can you call a shilvaan person?
Dadashri: A person who does not have any thought of sex whatsoever. A person, who does not have any anger, pride, attachment or greed, is a shilvaan.
If ever there is an occasion for a severe testing of your resolve of brahmacharya, if there is strong sexual attraction and inclination, then one should fast two to three times. When the force of unfolding karma is very strong, fasting can stop them. Fasting does not destroy these sexual passions completely.