(1) Yoga At Home
Sometimes the house becomes a hell when there is no religious unity between husband and wife. If the husband is religious, the irreligious wife does not allow him to study religious books, to sit in meditation, to visit holy places of pilgrimage, to practise Brahmacharya and to have Satsanga with great souls. She is afraid that he will become a Sannyasin even though he gives a solemn pledge that he will not do so. There are always quarrels in the house between husband and wife. The husband has no peace of mind even though he earns a decent sum and has got all the earthly comforts. The wife threatens the husband, "I will burn all your religious books as study of these books has only produced a change in you and you are neglecting me and do not take any interest in household affairs. I will throw stones at the head of the man who has written these books and has inspired you to take recourse to Yogic practices. Fools only will practise Yoga". How can men live happily with such ignorant and irreligious women? It is better to dwell in the midst of Asuric women like Tataka in the forest than to remain in the company of such horrible women who disturb the peace of the house. If your wife stands in your way of doing spiritual practice mildly suggest to her that you will take to Sannyasa. Then she will come to her senses.
It is the duty of the husband to train his wife also in the religious line. She must do some Japa, and Kirtan. She must study religious books such as Ramayana, Bhagavata and Mahabharata. She must take recourse to occasional fasting. He must take her to places of pilgrimage and attend discourses and Kathas conducted by Mahatmas. The wife must help the husband in his religious and Yogic practices. Then only the house will be a blessed place.
Some have taken Sannyasa on account of the bad behaviour of their wives and their hindrance to Yogic practices at home. If they allowed their husbands to continue their practices and helped them, they would have remained in the Grihastha Ashram. It is the duty of intelligent girls to co-operate with their husbands in leading a religious life at home. Then only can both lead a life of peace and happiness at home. The scriptures declare, "Without religion a house is a burial ground though it is a palace."
The husband also should not interfere with the religious practices of his wife. He should help her in all possible ways in her spiritual evolution and purity of life.
May there be temperamental, psychological and spiritual unity between the husband and wife! May the husband help the wife and vice versa in religious and Yogic practices! May God-realisation be your watchword! May purity be your maxim! May Dharma be your guide!
(2) To Husbands And Wives
Quarrels arise daily in the house between the husband and the wife on account of misunderstanding and difference of opinion. The wife thinks that the husband should obey and please her in all respects. The husband thinks that the wife should obey and please him in all respects. Is this possible? No. And so they quarrel every hour. It may not come into regular fisticuffs and blows at all times, but they will not speak for some hours in the day. Sometimes there will be boxing and caning also if the husband is short-tempered and lacks self-control. At other times the husband breaks the vessels when he loses his temper. If the wife is like Xanthippe (wife of Socrates) or Jijibai (wife of Tukaram), the table will be turned. There will be thunder and rain on the husband's head. Sometimes the wife, when she becomes angry, refuses to cook the food and lies down in the bed drawing a blanket over her body and head under the pretext of severe stomach-ache. The poor husband runs to the hotel to take his meals in order to catch the pilot train to go to his office. Sometimes the wife goes to her mother's house without informing the husband. The poor shameless weak-willed husband runs to his mother-in-law's house to bring her back with fresh glowing, golden promises and entreaties.
The wife must be ever ready to receive a volley of abuses when the dishes are not prepared to the fastidious taste of her husband. These are only minor, unimportant causes for daily quarrels. The major causes are too numerous to be mentioned here. You already know them in full and in detail also.
But still, if you ask a householder, "Which is better; a householder's life or a life of a Brahmachari?" surely he will say "Householder's life is thousand times better than the life of a celibate". He will vehemently fight with all his clumsy arguments to support his view. Do remember the story of the king who took birth as a pig and was rejoicing with his piglings. His case is similar to this king.
People have neither discrimination, dispassion nor subtle sharp intellect. Hence they are not able to know things in their true light. Their intellects are clouded, perverted, turbid, intoxicated and veiled by passion, delusion, infatuation and ignorance. Hence they do not know what they are exactly doing.
When they are swayed with passion, husbands and wives forget all about their quarrels which occurred in the morning. They think that their life is a blessed one. They utter pleasantly some flowery speech for the time being, though there is no real union and love in the core of their heart.
Try to possess self-control. Rise above passions. Be pure. Develop good behaviour, good conduct. Control anger. Be regular in Japa, Kirtan, meditation and study of Gita. Lead a life of ideal householders. Go through the books "Advice to Householders" and "Sure Ways for Success in Life and God-realisation". Put the instructions in daily practice.
O Ram! Treat your wife like a Devi. She is the queen or Lakshmi of the house. Where woman is honoured there is wealth, prosperity, success and peace. O Lila! Become a Pativrata. Do not quarrel with your husband. Become like Savitri, Anasuya or Sita.
May you all lead a life of Purity with devotion and attain the supreme blessedness in this very life!
-Swami Sivananda
| Where there are kindness, humility and purity, there spirituality springs up, saintliness shines, divinity descends and perfection manifests itself. -Swami Sivananda |
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